Since my breast cancer diagnosis, I have had many bad days. Days where lying on the couch seemed to be the best way to get through the day. I've had post surgery days, days where I was drained from radiation treatment. More recently, I have had more bad days with MS than I ever had with cancer. I have days where my body screams that it will not be a productive day.
On these down days I have arguments with myself about what I "should" be doing.
The list is always the same. I should vacuum, do laundry, wash dishes, organize, and complete whatever other task would come to my mind. Then the other half of me would remind myself that I didn't feel well. My body and sometimes my mind was rejecting the idea of completing tasks of productivity.
I discovered the trick to win the argument.
Instead of telling myself what I "should" do, I changed the verb to "could."
I could complete that list or I could continue to lay on the couch and watch the show I was watching or take the nap I was taking or do the task that brought me joy and peace. By changing the verb I gave myself the ability to choose and I removed the guilt. I also added the task I really wanted to do to my list. As that hard-working farm girl, I never would have said I "should" lay on the couch, but I "could" do it all day long if I chose.
When the argument starts now, I quickly change the word "should" to "could" and make my choice with no guilt or regret.
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