Unpredictable Waves

I ran on the beach yesterday.  There is something absolutely magical about the ocean.

The first amazing part is the moon's role in the oceans.  As the moon orbits the earth, it's gravitational pull creates our tides.  On one side of the earth, the tide is high up on the shore while on the other side, farther from the moon, the tide is low leaving behind beaches and stray animals and plants.  These tides are one part that makes the ocean exciting.  It is always changing.  In addition to the tides, the wind that blows across the earth causes the waves to build.  More wind creates bigger waves.  These waves travel across the earth building and changing until they finally crash on the shore.  Each wave is unique.  They bring debris, animals and plants and leave them behind.  The surface of the ocean floor also changes the way the ocean moves and travels.  A rocky shore creates predictable, consistent waves and a sandy shore is always moving making the waves change with it.

Trying to maneuver in the ocean can be difficult and dangerous.  Whether you have a boat, a surf board or just your body, there are hidden dangers everywhere.  

People have a choice.  They can make a plan and determine they will carry out their plan no matter what the ocean does.  They don't care if the ocean pushes back, they don't care if the waves are too high or too small.  They simply want to accomplish what they have set out to accomplish.  Almost every time, that person will crash to the floor of the ocean or get beat by the waves.  The waves will knock them back and beat them up.  The ocean doesn't care about our plans. It is a force much bigger than that.

Wiser people have discovered it is best to study the ocean and learn its patterns. They watch it move, they time the waves, the study the height of the waves.  They understand how weather affects it and changes it.  For example, the ocean we see from our Oregon house usually has small waves in the morning.  As the day progresses, the waves get bigger and less predictable.  If you only had the ability to hear, you could hear the waves get louder as the day goes on, as if the ocean gets angrier or simply has more energy.  Also, in the afternoons it gets windier.  The more wind, the more difficult and unpredictable the waves are.  

Once you understand how the ocean operates, you can attempt to become a part of it.  You try to move with the ocean rather than fighting it.  You may still get knocked down, but it won't be as badly and you may learn from your mistakes.  You aren't going to stop the waves from crashing, but you can learn where to stand so it doesn't hurt as badly.  You aren't going to make the waves smaller or bigger, but you can learn how to flow with the waves no matter what the size. 

The ocean won't be controlled or planned.  Either will our lives.  The more we fight against the situations and people that come into our lives, trying to change them or avoid them, the more we will fall and get hurt.  If, instead, we see them and look for the best path through the situations or the best way to associate with people who are trying to hurt us, we will find success.  

We can't control outside forces in our lives any more than we can control the ocean.  But, we can learn how to move with the forces.  We can learn how to enjoy the small rides on the surf board into the beach.  We can pull out our windsurf boards on the harsh windy days and see where the wind takes us.  We can curl up by the fire when it is raining and cold and let the ocean be vicious without us for a day. 

I love the ocean.  I have surfed it and know exactly how much pain it can cause.  I have observed it and know its beauty.  I love that when I go into the ocean, I must surrender.  I must pay attention to every sense to remain safe.  I must be in the moment or I will get hurt.  My surrender often comes with the reward of a great ride on a great wave.  My patience pays off.  Every time I set my foot in the ocean, it is scary.  I have no idea what it will do to me.  Every time I take a step into an unknown place in my life it is scary too.  I simply have to keep my eyes and ears open, ready to learn and grow and enjoy the ride.

I'm thankful our lives are filled with things that are bigger than us, things that we will never fully comprehend.  I need to know there is something bigger, someone bigger than my imagination reminding me I am never alone and I never need to have all the answers.

God and Mountains

We were driving through Oregon the other day on our way to the coast.  We had just passed through a part of the Blue Mountains which was at an elevation of almost 4000 feet.  The pass is called Deadman Pass and can be dangerous because of how quickly the elevation changes.  As we came down from the mountain, the land stretched out before us with smooth rolling hills.  Suddenly in the distance I spotted a mountain at an elevation of over 12,000 feet, Mount Adams.  It towered above everything.  I could see it almost 150 miles in the distance.  As we drove, the mountain stayed where it was.  It continued to be in my line of sight.  Sometimes I could only see the tip, but I knew it was there in all it's mighty glory.

I was reminded that God is like a mountain.  He doesn't move.  He doesn't change.  He is strong and steady and dependable.  Even when the mountain disappeared behind a cloud, I knew it was still there.  I didn't doubt its existence.  It didn't matter which direction I turned, it was still there.  Whatever series of events occurs, the mountain will continue to stand.

I was also reminded about the incredible difference from Mount Adams the the Blue Mountains.  The Blue Mountains may seem big and amazing as you are driving up to them.  They may seem scary as you are winding down the other side, but compared to Mount Adams, the Blue Mountains are a hill.

Sometimes we need a perspective check.  Sometimes we need to see the towering mountain of God and his steadfastness and strength to remind us this hill in our lives is no match for him.  This hill which feels big compared to the path we've been on, this scary hill with all it's twists and turns and unknown dark corners is nothing compared to a God that is unmovable and bigger than any obstacle in our way.

Little Mount Adams is nothing compared to the 29,000 feet of Mount Everest.  And little Mount Everest is nothing compared to a loving Father that cares about every step of our journey and every hill or mountain we have to climb.

Science info:  As a science teacher, I know my analogy isn't perfect.  Mountains do change and many can be changed drastically by a volcano, but it still makes a good picture and a good comparison.  God isn't really like anything we understand anyway so anything we find to helps us understand Him is good.

Good Friend

It is essential that we surround ourselves with people who know and accept us for who we are.  We are each incredibly different and incredibly unique people.  When you find someone who knows and understands you and loves all the different parts of you, you need to keep them around and make sure they know how much you appreciate them.  Our journeys can be difficult.  We need to surround ourselves with people that are wiling to walk with us or to simply hear about our journey.

My daughters are teenagers.  I daily watch them discover themselves and learn how to be comfortable in their own skin.  I want them to be confident, responsible, independent, and strong young women.  I don't want anyone to ever undermine them and put down the beautiful personalities they have.

I know this dream of mine is unrealistic.  They will meet people who bring them down.  They will meet people who slander them.  They will meet people who don't believe in their amazing qualities.  Hopefully, in those heart crushing moments, they will have a friend who will remind them of what is true and stand by them as they continue to confidently be who they were created to be.

You may have a difficult time finding a person who will remind you how amazing you are.  Fortunately, you can easily be that person to someone else.  I am now 41 years old.  I hope that over the years I have been that encouraging friend to others.  I am thankful for each friend that has come my way.  I am thankful for each person who takes the time to get to know me and lets me be myself.

Life is tough.  Be the friend who makes it easier for someone else to walk through it.

Just Today

The way we walk down our paths is determined by what is in our head and where we set our eyes.

I've said it many times, our lives are a journey.  We are each walking down a path or driving down a road toward our own destination.  Everyone's path is different.  Everyone's path is full of rocky places.

Imagine a path that bends and twists.  It's mostly dirt, but every once in a while a tree root crosses the it.  The trees are tall and thick and try to block your view.  Sometimes their full leaves block out the sun.   The snow-capped mountains stretch beyond the trees.  Sometimes the clouds hide the mountain tops and they appear to have no end.  The birds sing their various songs in the trees.  The deer meander in between the brown tree trucks.  The wild flowers add drops of color in between the tall grass.  

Sometimes the rain pelts down and turns the dirt path to mud.  Your feet get stuck.  When they do make it out of the mud your feet are weighed down like they've grown a steel plated toe.  Sometimes it is too dark.  The trees block the sun then at night they block the moon.  Sometimes strange animals lurk in the shadows.  Sometimes they sneak out of the shadows like someone with a secret.  

When it's beautiful and calm, it's easy to start looking up at the trees or the birds or the mountains.  Turning your eyes away from the path for a moment can cause your toe to catch on a rock or a root and you trip and fall.  Sometimes the trail is difficult to find.  If you are caught paying attention to anything other than the path you may get lost or get hurt.

Turning your eyes away from the path for just a moment could cause pain.  Thinking about any thing other than the next step could cause you to be lost and confused.  The goal may be to reach the peak of the mountain, but the moment your eyes are on the mountain instead of on the step in front of you, danger has already come.  

Those dark clouds looming ahead might bring rain.  If you focus on them and worry about what they might do, you will miss what is happening in the moment, the waterfall pouring over the rocks making rainbows in the pool.  The river around the bend might be too flooded to cross, but there might also be a bridge ready and waiting.  Whether it is flooded or easy to cross, thinking about the river, wondering and worrying how you will cross it while still walking on the path will only blind you to what is in front of you.  

Over the years I've learned to watch the next place I will set my foot.  I've learned to keep my thoughts on the moment I am currently in.  Looking too far ahead or thinking about all of the "what ifs" in the world always causes problems with the present.  You may have plans for tomorrow,  but you are living in today.

Doing "Me"

I've been practicing doing "me."  I've been trying not to think about what others might expect me to do or what they think I should do and simply be who I know I am.  I want to be true to myself and not let opinions of others, especially those who don't really know me, deter me from walking tall and confident.

I am never faking my personality or acting like someone else.  The way I neglect being "me" is by hiding.  I will not say what I am thinking.  I will keep myself from acting a certain way.  I will quietly blend into my environment rather than risk being ridiculed or judged.  I am really good at "not."  I am good at not talking, not doing, not causing ripples or problems.  I might be like the invisible man or rather, woman.  I am not a chameleon who can blend into my situation by changing.  I am better at becoming invisible or at least trying to hide in the shadows.

I don't imagine this is how I am supposed to behave.  I should be able to say what I would like, act the way I would like and be myself with confidence.  Underneath everything, I don't want to hurt you, offend you, upset you, or make you think poorly of me so I guard my every move.  I know this isn't okay so I am trying to do "me."

I need to think about what I really want in a situation and voice my opinion.  I can accept my idea being rejected, but I need to speak.  I need to think about how I really feel and let myself feel that way.  I need to let myself be sad, happy, scared, lonely, overwhelmed, . . . .  I know it is good to feel and it is good to let the feelings wash over me and turn into something else.  It is healthy to embrace all the good and bad that life throws at me and accept the "me" I become because of it.

So, this summer, I am practicing doing "me."  I will make choices I want to make and be honest.  I will let others know me and choose to accept or reject me.  If they don't like who I am, I am not going to hide myself for them.

I have two teenage girls.  I want them to walk tall and confidently in who they are and I never want them to change themselves for anyone else.  I want them to find people who love everything about them and surround themselves with those people as they appreciate the flaws and perfections.  I need to set an example for them.  I need to be my whole self all the time so they know how to do the same.  I need to stand tall so no one dares take me down.  I need to speak confidently so others don't question whether I speak truth.  I need to be glad to be "me" and to stop comparing myself to others.

I accept the challenge to be all of me without shame or without hiding.

Choose You

It's summer for me now.  I am a teacher and I am blessed with summers every year, but this is the first one I've truly had in 4 years.  I spent the last 3 summers working on my master's degree and even though that may not seem like a big deal, it was.  This year, I get to spend time planning for my new group of 2nd graders I'll meet in the fall.  I also get to make sure I am as healthy as I can be physically, mentally, socially, and spiritually.

Taking care of ourselves is something we tend to put off.  We are often good at taking care of others, putting ourselves last, and focusing on our environment rather than ourselves.  I like having time to reset and make sure I am making good choices for me before the chaos of school returns.  I hope I can create good patterns and habits during my off time so when the schedule begins again I will continue to remain healthy.

Taking care of ourselves is essential.  I am capable of putting my head down and plowing through anything disregarding how I feel.  I am capable of functioning on very little sleep, no exercise and poor diet.  Simply because I am capable doesn't mean I should.  I find myself saying, "Just because you can, doesn't mean you should,"  in my head all the time.  We can do many things.  We are resilient and strong and determined.  But how will we feel when we've reached the end of ourselves?  Who will we neglect because we simply have no more to give?

When I got diagnosed with cancer, everything stopped.  I didn't attend every event.  I didn't stay up late.  If I didn't feel well, I listened to my body and acted accordingly.  Once I was clear of treatment, I was determined to get strong and healthy again.  I started exercising regularly.  I tried eating better.  Then MS came knocking.  I was forced to exercise more, eat perfectly and get all the sleep I needed.  If I didn't take care of myself, my body would become lethargic and I wouldn't be able to think or speak clearly.  I would like to say I didn't have a choice.  I had to be healthy, but I did have a choice.  I do have a choice.  I can choose to ignore my health.  I can choose to lay around, eat poorly and stay up late.  I have that freedom.  Even though I have the freedom, I don't like the results of those choices.  I don't like feeling poorly.  I don't like having no energy.

So I choose to take care of myself.  I exercise no matter what.  I eat foods that make me feel good.  I get a full night's sleep even if others want to stay up late.  Before I put something in my mouth, I think about how I will feel.  I decide if it's worth it, then I make my choice.  We can have the best donuts in the world delivered to our door.  Every once in a while, eating one of those donuts is worth it.  One donut won't hurt me enough for me to refuse it, but I'll turn down those store bought cookies and that soda pop in a second.  They do not taste good enough to compensate for how horrible I will feel if I eat them.

Everyone reading this is different.  Everyone has to decide for themselves how they choose to care for themselves or not care for themselves.  I didn't do a great job of it until my body said I absolutely had to.  The consequences weren't that bad, but they weren't that good either.  It all comes down to choices.  Remaining healthy and keeping my body fat down can help me avoid another bought of cancer - the work is worth it to me.  Exercising and keeping my muscles and brain healthy can help keep MS from attacking another part of my body.  I can't see these invisible forces working inside me, but I know every choice I make affects them.  I have my treats, no one could call me a health nut, but I choose my pleasures carefully and I don't sacrifice feeling good for a piece of candy.

I feel sad when I see unhealthy people.  I feel sad because I know they don't feel well.  It doesn't matter what they number is on the scale, I know they are more tired and hurt when they move.  I know it is difficult when you can't get your body to obey you.  I wish and hope for people to think about what is most important to them.  Our choices should mimic our values.  There are consequences to every decision. You never know which disease you can avoid simply be making a different choice.