Doing "Me"

I've been practicing doing "me."  I've been trying not to think about what others might expect me to do or what they think I should do and simply be who I know I am.  I want to be true to myself and not let opinions of others, especially those who don't really know me, deter me from walking tall and confident.

I am never faking my personality or acting like someone else.  The way I neglect being "me" is by hiding.  I will not say what I am thinking.  I will keep myself from acting a certain way.  I will quietly blend into my environment rather than risk being ridiculed or judged.  I am really good at "not."  I am good at not talking, not doing, not causing ripples or problems.  I might be like the invisible man or rather, woman.  I am not a chameleon who can blend into my situation by changing.  I am better at becoming invisible or at least trying to hide in the shadows.

I don't imagine this is how I am supposed to behave.  I should be able to say what I would like, act the way I would like and be myself with confidence.  Underneath everything, I don't want to hurt you, offend you, upset you, or make you think poorly of me so I guard my every move.  I know this isn't okay so I am trying to do "me."

I need to think about what I really want in a situation and voice my opinion.  I can accept my idea being rejected, but I need to speak.  I need to think about how I really feel and let myself feel that way.  I need to let myself be sad, happy, scared, lonely, overwhelmed, . . . .  I know it is good to feel and it is good to let the feelings wash over me and turn into something else.  It is healthy to embrace all the good and bad that life throws at me and accept the "me" I become because of it.

So, this summer, I am practicing doing "me."  I will make choices I want to make and be honest.  I will let others know me and choose to accept or reject me.  If they don't like who I am, I am not going to hide myself for them.

I have two teenage girls.  I want them to walk tall and confidently in who they are and I never want them to change themselves for anyone else.  I want them to find people who love everything about them and surround themselves with those people as they appreciate the flaws and perfections.  I need to set an example for them.  I need to be my whole self all the time so they know how to do the same.  I need to stand tall so no one dares take me down.  I need to speak confidently so others don't question whether I speak truth.  I need to be glad to be "me" and to stop comparing myself to others.

I accept the challenge to be all of me without shame or without hiding.