Friday, June 8, 2018

Choose You

It's summer for me now.  I am a teacher and I am blessed with summers every year, but this is the first one I've truly had in 4 years.  I spent the last 3 summers working on my master's degree and even though that may not seem like a big deal, it was.  This year, I get to spend time planning for my new group of 2nd graders I'll meet in the fall.  I also get to make sure I am as healthy as I can be physically, mentally, socially, and spiritually.

Taking care of ourselves is something we tend to put off.  We are often good at taking care of others, putting ourselves last, and focusing on our environment rather than ourselves.  I like having time to reset and make sure I am making good choices for me before the chaos of school returns.  I hope I can create good patterns and habits during my off time so when the schedule begins again I will continue to remain healthy.

Taking care of ourselves is essential.  I am capable of putting my head down and plowing through anything disregarding how I feel.  I am capable of functioning on very little sleep, no exercise and poor diet.  Simply because I am capable doesn't mean I should.  I find myself saying, "Just because you can, doesn't mean you should,"  in my head all the time.  We can do many things.  We are resilient and strong and determined.  But how will we feel when we've reached the end of ourselves?  Who will we neglect because we simply have no more to give?

When I got diagnosed with cancer, everything stopped.  I didn't attend every event.  I didn't stay up late.  If I didn't feel well, I listened to my body and acted accordingly.  Once I was clear of treatment, I was determined to get strong and healthy again.  I started exercising regularly.  I tried eating better.  Then MS came knocking.  I was forced to exercise more, eat perfectly and get all the sleep I needed.  If I didn't take care of myself, my body would become lethargic and I wouldn't be able to think or speak clearly.  I would like to say I didn't have a choice.  I had to be healthy, but I did have a choice.  I do have a choice.  I can choose to ignore my health.  I can choose to lay around, eat poorly and stay up late.  I have that freedom.  Even though I have the freedom, I don't like the results of those choices.  I don't like feeling poorly.  I don't like having no energy.

So I choose to take care of myself.  I exercise no matter what.  I eat foods that make me feel good.  I get a full night's sleep even if others want to stay up late.  Before I put something in my mouth, I think about how I will feel.  I decide if it's worth it, then I make my choice.  We can have the best donuts in the world delivered to our door.  Every once in a while, eating one of those donuts is worth it.  One donut won't hurt me enough for me to refuse it, but I'll turn down those store bought cookies and that soda pop in a second.  They do not taste good enough to compensate for how horrible I will feel if I eat them.

Everyone reading this is different.  Everyone has to decide for themselves how they choose to care for themselves or not care for themselves.  I didn't do a great job of it until my body said I absolutely had to.  The consequences weren't that bad, but they weren't that good either.  It all comes down to choices.  Remaining healthy and keeping my body fat down can help me avoid another bought of cancer - the work is worth it to me.  Exercising and keeping my muscles and brain healthy can help keep MS from attacking another part of my body.  I can't see these invisible forces working inside me, but I know every choice I make affects them.  I have my treats, no one could call me a health nut, but I choose my pleasures carefully and I don't sacrifice feeling good for a piece of candy.

I feel sad when I see unhealthy people.  I feel sad because I know they don't feel well.  It doesn't matter what they number is on the scale, I know they are more tired and hurt when they move.  I know it is difficult when you can't get your body to obey you.  I wish and hope for people to think about what is most important to them.  Our choices should mimic our values.  There are consequences to every decision. You never know which disease you can avoid simply be making a different choice.

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