Over the past few weeks we have been listening to a lot of Christmas music. The older songs lyrics focus on coming home for Christmas, being with the family and, of course, white Christmases.
I haven't been "home" to where the rest of my family lives for Christmas since my daughter was born 17 years ago. I went one year in December to try and get there close to Christmas. Many years driving the trip over the mountain pass and risking snow was not wise. Other years I couldn't afford a plane ticket. Ultimately, neither of those reasons were the main reason we didn't travel. I wasn't willing to drag my children from house to house during Christmas. I wanted them to wake up in their beds, have a peaceful and calm day and to cherish the moments we have together.
Not everyone agrees with my decision. My decision isn't right for everyone, but it has been right for us. We have spent all our our children's Christmases in our home. Each Christmas has been precious, special, peaceful and full of love.
As I hear those songs, I have two thoughts. Is it required that we return home on Christmas? Who is our family?
Of course it is not required. I choose to be with the family that lives here with me. I love my family that lives far away and it is wonderful they can get together with each other. I will visit another day. On Christmas I will be home with my family.
I've been thinking about family. Technically, family are the people we share DNA with. I don't think that is what we mean when we say "family." When we talk about our families we talk about people we can depend on, people who accept us for who we are and have no expectations from us. Sometimes the two different definitions of family are met on the same person, sometimes they are not.
If you are blessed to be welcomed unconditionally into your DNA-sharing family's arms, celebrate! If they know all about you and accept you anyway, if they let you make mistakes, celebrate your achievements and stand by your side no matter what, you are blessed.
If you have found your family in the form of a friend who doesn't share your DNA, it is okay. It is okay to spend time with people who treasure you the way you treasure them. It is okay to give your energy to people who see your true colors and wouldn't change a thing.
I am blessed to have a little of both of these families. I am blessed to have found people who accept all of me for who I am and don't try to change me. They may call me on my crap, but they accept it at the same time.
We can't change our DNA-families. We aren't always blessed to find non-DNA families. We do have the power to be family to others. We have the ability to love unconditionally and accept without expectations.
This holiday season I know we are all thankful for the blessings and gifts we have been given. We are especially thankful for the people that walk by our side and help us along on our journeys. Take some extra time to love on those around you. It is all we are asked to do and it is all any of us really wants for Christmas.
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