Problems

What is the worst that can happen?

More than likely, whatever is happening now is far from the worst.

Life is about choosing which problems you'd prefer and accepting our problems our actually our choices.

These thoughts were inspired by words from Mark Manson. 

Let me explain by sharing a couple of personal examples. 

When Jenny called me on October 1, 2012 to tell me I had breast cancer, I had no choice in whether or not breast cancer would be one of my problems, but I did get to choose which steps I would take and how I would think about this problem.

I chose to keep moving.  I decided going to work everyday, being with my family and attempting to continue to do my daily tasks, although difficult, was a better problem for me to face than sitting around waiting for the cancer to do whatever it wanted to do. 

I chose to embrace my thoughts of fear of the unknown and doubt about my ability to stand in the face of the emotional and physical attack constantly berating me.  I wrote down my thoughts.  I acknowledged them then I daily, hourly, minute by minute surrendered myself and my situation to my Daddy.  The daily emotional battle was a better problem for me than holding my emotions in and pretending to be okay until one day I had nothing left.

When I was diagnosed with MS in February of 2015, I didn't get to choose whether or not MS would be a problem I would deal with for the rest of my life, but I did get to choose what my future days would look like and how I would choose to prepare myself for this disease.

I chose to keep moving.  I chose to go to work.  I chose to listen to my body.  When I was weary, I rested.  I chose to eat food that would strengthen my body.  I chose to exercise to increase my balance, strength and awareness of myself.  I choose to embrace what I could control about my health.  All these choices took extra work and energy and didn't always mean I was doing what I wanted, but they were better problems than sitting back and letting MS do whatever it wanted and passively allowing it.

I chose not to dwell on the possibility that MS could come steal whatever it wanted from me in a moment's notice and instead deal with the problem of fully embracing each moment and each ability I had.  If today I can run, I am blessed and thankful.  If tomorrow I can't run, I am thankful I didn't take my ability for granted while I had it.  Then I hope for another day of running.

Last November when walking, sitting and standing was too painful, my herniated disc pressing on my sciatic nerve could have been the problem that consumed me and made my quit trying.  I chose to lie down and remind myself that this was temporary.  As my strength disappeared because of my new completely sedentary life style, I reminded myself I would be strong again one day.  I simply had to pass through this storm.  Once I was allowed to walk again, I walked.  I chose to deal with the problems of snow and cold in order to walk and gain my strength back.  I celebrated each step further than the day before.  I rejoiced at my faster times each time I journeyed into the cold.

Our new house was one of our greatest blessings.  We relinquished problems of needed repairs, high utility bills and long commutes when we moved.  We have new problems in our new home: higher mortgage, new cleaning products to buy, and large windows to clean.  Quite honestly, the problems in our new home aren't problems at all to me, but they technically are.  They are the problems I choose.

I choose my problems and in the midst of problems I can't choose, I choose my reaction.  MS taught me to fully embrace what I can control and surrender to what I can't.  I can control my actions, my reactions, my thoughts and my choices.  I don't have time to waste my energy and thoughts on what I can't control.