Look Behind You

This past week I kept remembering my situation a year ago. 

One year ago I had a herniated disc.  This disc was putting pressure on my sciatic nerve.  My sciatic nerve was firing so intensely I couldn't walk, stand or sit without tear-inducing pain.  I had to take a 6 week leave from teaching while I waited for my surgery date then spent 3 weeks recovering from surgery.   I was forced to spend my days in a recliner or lying on the floor in order to get any relief from the pain. 

Today I have none of these limitations.  I can do my job.  I can walk, even run.  I can freely exercise and function like a normal human being.  I remember that season a year ago.  I remember how painful and difficult it was.  I also remember I spent much of the time knowing my pain would end.  The pain, the immobility, and the limitations wouldn't last forever.  I kept telling myself this was only a season as I spent each day watching every possible show on Netflix.

Today, many of you are in pain.  Some pain is emotional, some physical, some spiritual.  Some of you have a date when the pain is scheduled to end or ease up, but most of you don't know when the pain will end.  You may be in a season, but no one has marked on the calendar when your season will end.  You can't see the end, you can only see where you are today and it hurts. 

I want to encourage you to keep moving.  When you can, look back at the journey you have already passed.  Look at the mountain you climbed.  Remember how steep and difficult it was, you made it.  Look at the mire you trudged through.  It was dirty, slow and you felt you might be stuck there indefinitely, but you made it through.  Remember that river.  It was cold and swift.  You had no choice but to swim across it.  Sometimes you felt strong, sometimes you were simply treading water and weren't moving forward at all, but you are here looking back on it now.  The sun glistens off the water taking away the feeling of dread you had when you were standing on its shores.  Remember the time you lost the trail.  You spent weeks walking in circles.  You had to climb over rocks and crawl under stumps.  You can clearly see the trail from here, but then, you felt lost and alone. 

No matter how difficult the journey looks right now, remember what you have already overcome.  Since those difficult parts of the journey are now behind you, they don't look as terrible and you now know you were strong enough to continue through them.  Gather your strength for the journey ahead from your victories from the journey you have left behind.  You are strong.  You are resourceful.  You are amazing.  I know this is difficult and scary.  I know you feel overwhelmed and defeated.  In those moments, take a moment to look behind you.  Let your past victories give you strength and hope and courage to keep walking.

A year ago I went through one of the most painful periods in my life.  I was suddenly forced to stop doing everything that defined my life.  I had to give up my classroom of second graders to someone else.  I had to give up the care of my home.  I couldn't even completely care for myself.  I was dependent on those around me while I waited for this difficult part of my journey to end.  I am thankful I can look back on that time and rejoice at all I can do today.  I am thankful I have almost fully retained my strength and mobility.  There are brief moments when I feel a hint of pain to remind me of what I have overcome.  It brings me back to my path and reminds me of the victories I have left behind.