I tried not to make too big of a deal of this biopsy. If it turned out to be nothing, I didn’t want to have over-dramatized the situation. However, since I didn’t know the future and only knew the present, I still had to deal with every thought and feeling in the meantime.
So far, I’ve had a routine mammogram, had a follow-up mammogram and been told I needed a biopsy. Nothing has really happened yet, nothing is really known yet, but I was a mess. I went to work the day after my loving encounter with people at church.
I went through all the motions. I didn’t tell anyone what was going on. I thought I was doing quite well until I got into my car to go home. I broke. I broke hard. I cried all the way home. The weight was back and it was getting heavier. I immediately called my mom when I got home and asked her if I was normal.
"This wasn’t a big deal." I told myself. She had had biopsies. She had never told me about crying all the way home. I must be making a bigger deal out of this than it was. I must be just worrying about nothing.
My mom assured me I was normal. We talked for a while. She let me know it was okay to cry, it was okay to be worried. I was ok.
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