Pink Story: Radiation in the Waiting Room

I get there early.  I check in, they know my name.  When the secretary sees me, she checks her computer then tells me I am checked in.  The other secretary tells them she’ll let them know I am here.  I walk back towards the offices.  I turn left and am immediately lost even though I’ve been here 15 times.  I have to read the signs leading me back to the special radiation oncology waiting room.  After I turn left again I recognize the doors and chairs and know I have arrived.  I scan the waiting room quickly hoping nobody notices that I am looking at them.  I take a quick right to women’s dressing room.  I look at both rooms.  One of the rooms is towards the back so no one will walk by me, but the one in the front tends to have the gown that fits.  I choose which dressing room to walk into and yank the brown and tan curtain over to the opposite wall trying to close the gaps.  Even though my breasts have been seen by many over the last 3 months, I don’t need to add to that list.  I take down a gown.  It’s a faded light pink top with pink flowers on it.  It has short sleeves, a snap at the top by my collar bone and a snap in the middle of my breast bone.  The bottom two-thirds of the shirt is open.  It’s my job to try to keep that part closed.  I take off my coat, I take off the scarf that is hiding the fact I no longer wear a bra.  I take off my shirt. Finally I take of the cami tank top with the shelf bra built in.  I fold my clothes and place them in the 4 inch by 3 foot locker.  I close the locker, lock it and remove the key attached to the red, spiral, jelly bracelet.  I always use the same locker.  I don’t know why.  It wouldn’t bother me if someone else used it and I had to choose a different one, but I use the same one anyway.  It’s the one on the far right.  That way I would only have one locker neighbor if there were anybody else using the lockers. Its comical that there are 10 lockers.  I’m sure there are never more than 2 people coming and going at a time based on the 15 minutes per person radiation schedule.  Maybe since the lockers are so small some people have to use more than one to put all their things in.

After my clothes are safely locked away, I go out into the small waiting room.  It’s a long, narrow room.  It fits about 8 chairs lined up along one wall facing the opposite wall which is actually holding a counter where I could have coffee, juice or water.  I’m never there long enough to enjoy the beverages, but it’s nice that they are available.  The television is mounted above the beverages and I tend to watch what is on even after the patient before me hands me the remote.  I sit down, carefully checking my two snaps and the large opening, making sure nothing is hanging out.  I always know when something is because people look at me funny or they get uncomfortable.  I sit and wait.