Fear Not

Pain is no longer my friend. 

For years, pain wasn't the worst thing.  I could tough it out.  I used to play basketball in high school with plantar warts burning on my feet.  I gave birth to two girls naturally.  I walked through the shops on the Oregon coast for two weeks with plantar fasciitis.  I don't like pain, but I've never had difficulty handling it. 

Now, any pain that arises scares me.  Back surgery will do that to you.  I wonder why the pain is there.  Did I do something wrong?  Did I do something to cause it?  Am I forgetting something?  I don't just deal with pain anymore, I question it.  I question myself. 

This will probably not be the case forever, just until I see the doctor and he gives me the "all clear." 

Years ago, my husband and I were pregnant for the first time.  At 7 weeks, we lost the baby.  Fortunately, I got pregnant again 2 months later.  I essentially held my breath until our first appointment with the doctor.  After the ultrasound and hearing the heart beat that was twice as fast as our previous baby's, I started breathing again. 

Fear can take hold until an assurance comes along to let us know there is nothing to fear.

The Bible says "Fear not, for I am with you." That should be all the assurance I need.  I don't need to worry or fear about the unknown.  I don't need to question every movement.  I don't need to hold my breath.  Fear should not be a part of my day.  I simply need to trust and know.