I've known quite a few people who have gone through a divorce. The only reason I write about divorce in a blog where I talk a lot about health is because divorce causes pain. Every person that is touched by any type of divorce goes through some sort of pain.
Every time someone shares the news of their divorce I feel so sorry. I am sorry for the pain they have. I'm sorry for the pain they will continue to have. I'm sorry for the pain that will sneak up on them in the middle of the night.
The pain comes from all directions and each person's cause of the pain is different, but the pain is still there.
Because of this truth, when I hear the news, I am filled with compassion. My heart breaks for them.
My heart also breaks because I know that this person who has to journey down a path of pain is also experiencing judgement from the people who have never been in their shoes or who simply can't imagine what those shoes feel like or who don't attempt to imagine the path that person is treading.
It's important to always remember that you are traveling down your path, not another's path, with all it's bumps, curves and twists. Sometimes your path is full of amazing views and smooth trails. Sometimes you take only a few cautious steps at a time through rocks and bends and overgrown foliage blocking your view. Everyone is on their own path. They see what is on their journey. They are affected by what has come before and what is surrounding them on their journey.
When we hear about our neighbor's difficult journey our job is to hear them, care about them, and be there for them. Most people don't actually want our help in getting them through journey. They want our ears and our hearts, but very few words. Since we have not walked down their path, we don't really have all the information to help them get through. We treat them unfairly when we think we have all the answers.
The next time someone shares their rocky journey with you, do everything to love on them. Keep judgement about why and how they are on that path or what they should do about it far from your mind, heart, and mouth. One day, you will have your own rocky patch. It is then you will understand that events in our lives are often beyond our control. We don't need advice, we need someone who is willing to walk with us.
This post began with a section on divorce because I'm tired of people judging others when they hear they are getting divorced, but the truths apply to all difficult things we go through. Pain is pain and everyone needs a little tenderness until the pain passes.
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