10 Years, Actually

I had an appointment with my MS doctor the other day.  I've been going to him for 3 years.  This was the first time I asked a lot of questions.  I learned a bit more about MS and me.

First, I knew that my MRI in the fall had some new lesions on it.  I asked him about them since I knew they were why I was seeing him in the spring.  They were pin pick lesions.  He wanted to keep an eye on them and, I think, keep an eye on me.  The good news is I have no visible or measurable effects of these lesions and they are tiny.  The bad news is I have new activity in my brain.

I also learned that my earlier MRI scans showed black holes.  A black hole in MS means the nerve isn't sending messages any more.  It's like a closed road.  The presence of these black holes means that I have had MS for at least 10 years.  It is possible that MS has been silently stripping away the protective covering on my nerves since my mid-twenties.

I was surprised for a moment. 

Then I remembered, during my cancer treatment I was exhausted.  I spent every day of radiation treatment going to work, going to radiation, going home, eating dinner and going to bed, often around 6:30.  I barely made it through each day.  I was fortunate 2 weeks of my treatment occurred during Christmas break.  On those days I only had to go to treatment.

My exhaustion level was so rare my radiation oncologist shared it with many of his other patients.  They would share their level of tired and he would tell them he has one patient who barely makes it through a full day.  I thought my weariness came from teaching.  Most people going through cancer treatment are retired and don't have to worry about going to full time jobs.  I figured my story was different because my story was different.

With my new knowledge about the duration of MS in my life, I may have been so extremely tired because MS was attacking me at the same time as radiation treatment and recovery from surgery. 

It is also possible I was simply more tired than everyone else.  I won't ever truly know, but it paints a new picture for me.

Cancer and MS can't be prevented if you are destined for them.  You can prevent many diseases by eating healthy, avoiding things that harm your body, and taking steps to keep away germs and bacteria.  Cancer seems to do whatever it wants.  MS is somewhat genetic and definitely geographical.  For me, growing up in the Northwest was a risk factor for getting MS.

There are many diseases and ailments that attack our bodies.  We can't prevent them all.  Many are coming for us no matter what.  But, we can prepare ourselves for the battle.  We can eat healthy foods that fuel us and make us feel good.  We can exercise and give our hearts a chance to be strong.  We can strengthen our muscles so that diseases can't make us weak as quickly as they would like.  In my case, we can keep using our brains for study and problem solving so they aren't debilitated by some blocked roadways.  I believe all the brain work I have done all my life has helped me make multiple connections to thoughts, ideas and everything else my brain needs to do.  A little roadblock here and there just means I have to take a different route.

I am daily thankful for my strength, desire to learn and ability to function and thrive.  Parts of my body are trying to stop that success, but I will keep moving and fighting.