Within the next 30 days is the anniversary of 3 grandfather's deaths between my husband and I. This time reminds me about what a special treasure grandpas are to us.
My husband and I have sweet memories of our grandfathers. We remember their work ethic. They faithfully went out to do their jobs. We remember their creativeness. They created new things, came up with different types of solutions to problems and were inventive with things that people threw away. They taught themselves how to do new things and they taught us a little bit of what they knew.
They made an impression on our lives and we continue to think about them each day. We remember them fondly. We see them in our children. We see them in the world around us. We remember what they said and we remember what they did.
I hope you have a special grandpa. I hope you have someone who likes to sit in his favorite chair, take naps and tell stories. I hope you know someone who watches out his favorite window at the people or the animals that venture by the property. I hope you have someone who will sit and watch your children play, basking in their joy and not wanting them to be any different than they are. I hope you have someone with years of experience who quietly lets his experience seep out on you and doesn't force it on you. I hope you have a special grandpa or or grandpa type. I hope they are still around. If they aren't, I hope you remember them daily and fondly and treasure that special part of them they left behind in you.
Monday, August 7, 2017
Sunday, August 6, 2017
Pink Story: Choices
I was diagnosed with breast cancer in October 2012. My surgery was in November and my radiation treatment began in the beginning of December. Part way into my radiation treatment, it was time to meet with the medical oncologist about medication.
After about 2 weeks of radiation treatment I was scheduled to meet with the medical oncologist. Before having cancer I didn’t know there were different kinds of oncologists. A radiation oncologist deals with radiation treatment and a medical oncologist deals with medical treatment which includes chemotherapy and medication. We talked for a few minutes when we met and due to my situation I had a choice about whether or not I took medication for hormone control after my radiation treatment was complete. The choice he gave me was based on my fear. The doctor asked me what I was more anxious about, side effects of medication or the return of cancer.
This may have been the first time I really had a choice about my treatment. I told him that the side effects of the medication concerned me more than trying to do one more thing to keep the cancer from returning. This medication wouldn’t help it go away. It would possibly keep it from returning. I don’t take medication unless I am really ill so the side effects come after me a bit more aggressively because my body is not used to it.
Once I shared my answer with him, he encouraged me to continue to live healthy and don’t go nuts trying to over do it.
It has taken me a few years to learn what this advice looks like for me. It looks different for everyone. I had to find the things in my life that make me healthy, not the things that make others healthy. I had to find a way to keep my mind clear and focused on what would benefit me. I had to find a way to eat that made me feel well. I had to find exercises that would give my body energy and I had to find fun activities that would bring me joy and peace.
As you journey through your life, make choices that make you whole and happy and productive. Make choices that fit who you are and what will make you the best version of yourself.
Saturday, August 5, 2017
At Ease
In my living room I have a picture of two white tulips. Instead of the tulips standing tall as you often expect to see them, they are hanging down like an old man with his head down while he's sleeping in his favorite chair. The phrase under the flowers is "At Ease."
It sits in a prevalent place in our living room and I see it daily. It actually sits above the only recliner in the room. It is fitting that the chair intended to help you rest is closest to the picture telling you to be "At Ease." The picture is in memory of my grandpa and my uncle.
It reminds me to breathe. It reminds me to be "at ease" with whatever is happening. In the midst of dusting my house I walk by the picture and pause a bit in my soul. I remember my dear family. I remember that my uncle always enjoyed the simple things. I remember that my grandpa would pick wild flowers for my grandma. These thoughts remind me to take pleasure in the tiny moments and the simple pleasures of life.
It is difficult to find a place where you feel "at ease" in the midst of the busy moments of each day. There are schedules and "to do" lists, but it is essential. There has to be a moment when the stresses of the day fall away. There has to be a place where you feel "at ease" and can breathe and rest. A few moments of ease can make all the other moments attainable.
It sits in a prevalent place in our living room and I see it daily. It actually sits above the only recliner in the room. It is fitting that the chair intended to help you rest is closest to the picture telling you to be "At Ease." The picture is in memory of my grandpa and my uncle.
It reminds me to breathe. It reminds me to be "at ease" with whatever is happening. In the midst of dusting my house I walk by the picture and pause a bit in my soul. I remember my dear family. I remember that my uncle always enjoyed the simple things. I remember that my grandpa would pick wild flowers for my grandma. These thoughts remind me to take pleasure in the tiny moments and the simple pleasures of life.
It is difficult to find a place where you feel "at ease" in the midst of the busy moments of each day. There are schedules and "to do" lists, but it is essential. There has to be a moment when the stresses of the day fall away. There has to be a place where you feel "at ease" and can breathe and rest. A few moments of ease can make all the other moments attainable.
Friday, August 4, 2017
Pink Story: Difficult Days
Each of us has good days and bad days.
When I was about a month into my cancer treatment and it had been about 3 months since my diagnosis I reflected on my level of energy. I went to a Christmas party and people were surprised and pleased to see me. Surprise came from their thought that I wasn’t well enough to be there. Pleased came from the fact they were encouraged to see me out. Later, a friend called and told me I was strong and an encouragement to people around me.
At the time that I was in the midst of all of this, I did not feel any of these things. I felt a little slower, a little less energetic, a little more tired and a little more pain. I simply walked forward through my life one step at a time. The treatment for cancer and the idea of dealing with cancer took more from me than the actual cancer.
Back then, I imagined that on the day I became 100% myself again I would say, “Wow, I wasn’t feeling well all those days.” However, I couldn’t compare how I felt then to feeling well. I hadn’t felt well for over 3 months. My new state of health and wholeness at the time was diminished from what it was the summer before. I couldn’t feel how I felt that summer and how I felt that winter simultaneously. I had no idea how this had really affected me. I simply moved forward at the pace I could move and do what I could do. I didn’t get down on myself for not being able to do something I used to be able to do, but I had a new normal I had to deal with on a daily basis.
During this time, people kept telling me how strong I was and I felt anything but strong. I wanted to be able to see myself through someone else’s eyes. In most people’s eyes I saw compassion, but sometimes there was pity or fear. I hoped being strong was a good thing and that people didn’t think I was milking something. I’d rather be strong than be too weak and fall apart all the time and need people to carry me. Most people didn’t know how to help me, so I got all my strength from my Daddy (God), they didn’t have to worry about it. They could simply watch me walk.
We all have days when we don’t feel completely whole. Sometimes we are ill, sometimes our mind is full or weary, sometimes our hearts ache. We have to keep going. We know that there will come a day when we feel better. We simply need to keep moving and do our best during those difficult days. We also need to remember that many people around us may be having difficult days. Most of the time, we won’t be able to tell by looking at them. They are trying to keep moving in the midst of their difficult days. We have a choice to hinder them or help them.
Thursday, August 3, 2017
Neighbors
We recently met our new neighbors. Neighbors are a very special breed of people.
We lived in our former house for over 11 years. For 6 of those years, I was a teacher at the local school. Local in this sense meant that the school was less than a mile from our house. I spent 2 of those years riding my pink cruiser to and from school. During that time my students were also my neighbors. I quickly got to know them and their parents. I would wave at my neighbors as I rode through the neighborhood and often stop during walks to have visits. I knew which kids I would find playing in their yards or riding bikes in the street. I knew my neighbors.
Upon arriving at our new home about a month ago, I realized I would have to introduce myself to neighbors because I didn't have the luxury of getting to know them because I taught their children. I did the only thing that I know to do. I made my mom's prize winning lemon bars and we walked over to our neighbors to share them. We visited with them for a few minutes and became acquainted. I've also met a few other neighbors in our journeys around our neighborhood.
After our few encounters I realized how extremely special neighbors are. Our neighbors are rarely people we would meet in our normal day to day experiences, yet they are people that we see almost daily. If we don't see them, we see their homes and think of them.
Essentially, we live with our neighbors. We see their comings and goings, we see what happens around our homes. We are closest if there is trouble or a need. We can always be the cheerful greeting down the street. I feel blessed to have nice neighbors. I feel blessed to have neighbors.
Growing up our closest neighbor lived a half mile away. We knew of their kids and their cats. We didn't visit all the time, but we were there for each other if it was ever needed. I still remember our special neighbor. She let my brother and I play in the tree house on her property and always welcomed us in for a visit.
Neighbors aren't our friends. They are our neighbors. They are special and get to have their own category. If neighbors become our friends or friends become our neighbors we are doubly blessed.
We lived in our former house for over 11 years. For 6 of those years, I was a teacher at the local school. Local in this sense meant that the school was less than a mile from our house. I spent 2 of those years riding my pink cruiser to and from school. During that time my students were also my neighbors. I quickly got to know them and their parents. I would wave at my neighbors as I rode through the neighborhood and often stop during walks to have visits. I knew which kids I would find playing in their yards or riding bikes in the street. I knew my neighbors.
Upon arriving at our new home about a month ago, I realized I would have to introduce myself to neighbors because I didn't have the luxury of getting to know them because I taught their children. I did the only thing that I know to do. I made my mom's prize winning lemon bars and we walked over to our neighbors to share them. We visited with them for a few minutes and became acquainted. I've also met a few other neighbors in our journeys around our neighborhood.
After our few encounters I realized how extremely special neighbors are. Our neighbors are rarely people we would meet in our normal day to day experiences, yet they are people that we see almost daily. If we don't see them, we see their homes and think of them.
Essentially, we live with our neighbors. We see their comings and goings, we see what happens around our homes. We are closest if there is trouble or a need. We can always be the cheerful greeting down the street. I feel blessed to have nice neighbors. I feel blessed to have neighbors.
Growing up our closest neighbor lived a half mile away. We knew of their kids and their cats. We didn't visit all the time, but we were there for each other if it was ever needed. I still remember our special neighbor. She let my brother and I play in the tree house on her property and always welcomed us in for a visit.
Neighbors aren't our friends. They are our neighbors. They are special and get to have their own category. If neighbors become our friends or friends become our neighbors we are doubly blessed.
Wednesday, August 2, 2017
Pink Story: Being Still
“Thank Me for the conditions that are requiring you to be still. . . Instead of resenting the limitations of a weakened body, search for My way in the midst of these circumstances. . . Quietness and trust enhance your awareness of My Presence with you. Do not despise these simple ways of seeing Me. . . My strength and power show themselves most effective in weakness.” - Jesus Calling
These words reminded me to find things to be thankful for while recovering from surgery and receiving radiation treatment. I had to learn to slow down and enjoy the quiet, enjoy the moments of sitting, and soak in the moments of rest. I had to learn to do what I could and be okay with not doing what I couldn’t. One day towards the end of December, I sat with my youngest and helped her with her homework. I didn’t rush away. I was wholly present. Most days I would have already gone to bed, but I found the energy to help her and was blessed with special time with my little one.
I was thankful for the help I was getting from others and was learning how to sit back and accept the gifts of time and energy that those around me offered.
I was aware then and am still aware now that I only operate and achieve anything by the grace of God. I have no strength of my own. God gives me everything I need to accomplish what I need to each day. It is only through Him that I am victorious.
Tuesday, August 1, 2017
Cloth Napkins
When you come to my home I will give you a cloth napkin. The reason is not why you think.
Many years ago, when my girls were babies, we had very little money. I was a creative grocery shopper. I bought food to make very economical meals. We had baked potatoes and canned chili, macaroni and cheese from a box, and anything else I could purchase with just a few dollars. One day while calculating my budget and crossing items off my grocery list, I noticed I was out of money, but I still had napkins on the list. A package of napkins cost about $1.50. That may not seem like much, but it was too much at the time. I didn't have $1.50. I remembered my husband's grandma had given us some cloth napkins when we got married. They were pink. One set was designed like a picture frame: the light pink was on the inside and the dark pink on the outside. The other set had 3 inch pink flowers on them. I decided we would simply use those until I could afford paper ones again.
Twenty years later, I still can't bring myself to spend money on napkins even though we can now afford it. We have a drawer of different colored cloth napkins, some are homemade, some are bought from a store, many are gifts, and I still have the original pink set from Grandma. Some of the napkins match our home decor, but most don't. I love that I simply wash them and use them again. I don't have to pay for them, throw them away, then buy more. Early on, my girls learned to fold by folding napkins. Any 2-year old can easily fold a napkin.
So when you come to visit don't be surprised by my cloth napkins. I didn't bring out the special decor. These colorful, well used cloth napkins are how we normally operate. If I have them, I may as well use them. I don't want you to think I'm putting on a show for your visit. This is how we live and it is how we have lived for as long as my girls can remember.
If I had fancy dishes, I would use those every day too. I would want to see them and enjoy them and let others enjoy them.
Some people like paper plates, some people like paper napkins, some people like to use the special stuff on special days and the plain stuff the other days. Whatever you use is wonderful. It is more important who you are and how you welcome your guests than the material of your dishes and napkins.
I welcome you to come visit someday. Whether you have dinner or simply a cup of coffee, I will share a cloth napkin with you and you can know I am treating you as one of my family, getting the very best every time.
Many years ago, when my girls were babies, we had very little money. I was a creative grocery shopper. I bought food to make very economical meals. We had baked potatoes and canned chili, macaroni and cheese from a box, and anything else I could purchase with just a few dollars. One day while calculating my budget and crossing items off my grocery list, I noticed I was out of money, but I still had napkins on the list. A package of napkins cost about $1.50. That may not seem like much, but it was too much at the time. I didn't have $1.50. I remembered my husband's grandma had given us some cloth napkins when we got married. They were pink. One set was designed like a picture frame: the light pink was on the inside and the dark pink on the outside. The other set had 3 inch pink flowers on them. I decided we would simply use those until I could afford paper ones again.
Twenty years later, I still can't bring myself to spend money on napkins even though we can now afford it. We have a drawer of different colored cloth napkins, some are homemade, some are bought from a store, many are gifts, and I still have the original pink set from Grandma. Some of the napkins match our home decor, but most don't. I love that I simply wash them and use them again. I don't have to pay for them, throw them away, then buy more. Early on, my girls learned to fold by folding napkins. Any 2-year old can easily fold a napkin.
So when you come to visit don't be surprised by my cloth napkins. I didn't bring out the special decor. These colorful, well used cloth napkins are how we normally operate. If I have them, I may as well use them. I don't want you to think I'm putting on a show for your visit. This is how we live and it is how we have lived for as long as my girls can remember.
If I had fancy dishes, I would use those every day too. I would want to see them and enjoy them and let others enjoy them.
Some people like paper plates, some people like paper napkins, some people like to use the special stuff on special days and the plain stuff the other days. Whatever you use is wonderful. It is more important who you are and how you welcome your guests than the material of your dishes and napkins.
I welcome you to come visit someday. Whether you have dinner or simply a cup of coffee, I will share a cloth napkin with you and you can know I am treating you as one of my family, getting the very best every time.
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