Consistency

When my girls were little, I was concerned about who they would grow up to become.  I wanted them to be caring, responsible, kind, honest, hard-working, independent, strong, thoughtful and to understand how to trust in God.  Every decision I made regarding them was made in light of their future.  I knew I wanted my girls to sleep in their own beds so from day one I put them in their own bed.  I wanted my girls to obey so we practiced what that would look like.  We practiced what it would look like when and I called them, they said, "coming" and ran to me.  Today, my teenagers never give me attitude when I call.  They always come. It doesn't seem like a big deal, but it creates a very sweet relationship between us when that simple tension is removed.

I praised their character more than their actions.  When they helped clean, I praised their responsible character and hard working spirit.  When they succeeded in school, I praised their effort more than their grades.  When they put someone else first, I praised their thoughtfulness and caring.

Today, I have the most amazing teenage girls I have ever met.  They care about others.  They are helpful and compassionate.  They are so responsible that I don't have to nag or pester them to complete their tasks. They pay attention and learn from their mistakes.  They recognize the wisdom of their parents and learn from our mistakes as well.  They respect their elders and appreciate good and true relationships above superficial.

I attribute much of their character to the pure blessing and gift of God.  The rest is due to our consistency. We are the same with them everyday.  We have the same expectations.  We have goals and dreams for them and every action we take is aligned with those.  We do not have one set of expectations one day and another the next.  We are real and true.  Our girls see our weaknesses and know that it's ok to be weak.  They see our strengths and look up to us.  We are the same each day and they are amazing because of it.