Surgery was scheduled for November 12th. We celebrated our anniversary downtown enjoying the culture, eating good food and buying some early Christmas presents. My husband tried to create some distractions to keep my mind off of everything. For the most part it worked. I still thought about surgery only a few days away, but not as often as I would have if I had been at home. I might have been useless at home looking for distractions more than enjoying the weekend.
The weight instantly got heavier when we got home. I held it in ok, but I felt it down to the center of my bones. Being still and quiet was difficult, being busy was difficult. This would be my first surgery. The longest amount of time I've spent in a hospital was when my girls were born. This was definitely different.
The surgery itself wouldn't necessarily be the end. There was still a chance that they might find more than they had originally seen. There was still a chance it had spread to my lymph nodes. They wouldn't know until the surgery. The surgery, which was scary by itself, could potentially be the beginning. It could also be the end or the beginning of the end, but the unknown was still tremendous.
No comments:
Post a Comment