In order to repair my face and get the feeling back in my left side, I had to have infusions. The nurse came by the first night with infusion services. She started an IV and showed us how to hook up all the medicines. It's pretty amazing what they can do. She had everything for us to use at our house so I wouldn't have to go anywhere, but I could still get the needed medication each day.
I had my first dose of steroids, 1000 mg of something that starts with an "S." Before they injected the steroids, they needed to inject saline that cleans everything out. The IV had to stay in my arm until all the doses were complete. It would last about 3 days.
My muscles were twitchy the first night and I had a difficult time falling asleep. I kept half waking up. I was always very aware of where my IV arm was. I actually tossed and turned. I figured I would probably sleep great once the IV was removed.
I am often reminded that I take pride in my capabilities because that is my greatest humbling experience. I am weak, He is strong. I will lean on Him with all my might. I will hold on tight and I know that He will hold tighter so if I am too weak, He will not let me fall.
I knew all this, yet I cried. I knew that I would be okay. I knew that God was strong enough for my weakness, but I still cried. As I cried for my weakness, I knew I needed to remember His strength. As Paul said, when I am weak, yet He is strong, I knew I would only make it through the day because He is strong.
I don't remember God's faithfulness until I am weak and falling. I don't remember how He holds me up until I can't hold myself anymore. Knowing that He has me all the time and not simply when I am struggling is something I need to remind myself to be thankful for.
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