I read something I wrote a couple of years ago when I was beginning to figure out how to journey through MS. Those words are a good reminder for me today. During that time, I was thinking about all the things that were going on. It didn't matter what chaos was all around me, I knew that my Daddy loved me. I believed everything was going to work out and that the results would be amazing because He loves me.
The knowledge I have that He loves me doesn't come from the Bible, although it says it there. The knowledge I have doesn't come from a book or pastor. It comes from my experience. He shows me He loves me everyday. He is there for me in the brightest and darkest of times. He takes care of me and notices details that bless my life. Because my Daddy loves me more than anyone else does, I know He will give me what is best for me. I know He will always take care of me. All the knowledge I need to feel safe, secure and confident is His love.
Right now I am dealing with pain from a herniated disc pushing on my sciatic nerve. I'm thankful that I will have surgery to relieve the pain soon. I am also thankful for pain medication that helps me make it through the day.
I wouldn't have chosen the day I am going to have surgery. I would have chosen a more convenient day for my work schedule. I would never have chosen to be in this much pain or to lose the ability to do many of the things I normally do. It doesn't matter what I would have chosen. That is not how life works.
Life deals you whatever hand it wants. We don't get to give back the cards or trade them or try to change them. We simply have to move forward with what we have. As we move forward we choose how we think about our journey, we choose how we think about our challenges. The only thing that helps me keep moving through the most difficult days is knowing that I am loved.
I have a Daddy, a God that loves me and cares about me more than anyone else. He doesn't like that I am having pain any more than my family who watches me hobble across the house. He understands how disappointed I am to have to take so much time off work. He cares more about what I have had to give up than anyone else does.
However, If I look closely, I can see his helping hand. The people that come alongside to show their support and kindness are a gift from my Daddy. The medication available to relieve my pain is a gift from my Daddy. Being surrounded by love and understanding from close friends and family is one of my favorite gifts from my Daddy.
Things won't always be easy. Life will deal some terrible hands. My Daddy will always take care of me and show me His love in the most precious ways.
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