For the most part, after the first couple months of my MS diagnosis and the ups and downs of learning how to cope with medication and what it was doing to me, I've simply had to learn what it looks like to live with MS.
Living with MS means as long as I sleep good each night, eat right, stay away from stress and drastic temperature changes I feel perfectly well. If any of these things are disturbed, I feel tired, run down or simple out of sorts. I can still do most things. I can still function normally, but it may take more effort or more time. My journals are full of my reports on how a bad night's sleep affected my day or how the weather turned cold or hot and suddenly I feel run down.
Living with MS has made me stop and pay attention to myself. I've had to take care of myself regardless of what is going on around me. I have to put myself first or I feel the negative effects immediately.
Living with MS means living with the unknown. The biggest adjustment I've had to make isn't the medication or the diet, it is the unknown. Living with MS means that at any moment something new can be taken from me. When I was originally diagnosed I went to bed after playing "Just Dance" with my girls and woke up with the inability to move the left side of my face. I had no warning this was going to happen.
Living with MS means that today I may be able to run and tomorrow I may not. It means that today I can see and tomorrow I may lose my sight. I don't anticipate any of these things happening. I will take care of myself and do everything in my power to remain healthy, but MS doesn't care about that. It can take whatever it wants whenever it wants. I can't control it.
Living with MS means I take care to control what I can. I sleep well because I can control when I go to bed. I eat well because I can control what I put in my mouth. I exercise because I can control my physical health. I share my thoughts and fears because I can control my mental health. I know who to trust for the things I can't control and lean on Him with everything to keep my spirit healthy.
Living with MS means that I am daily thankful for what I can do, for the people that are in my life, for each moment that I have. I am aware that these moments are here now and are not guaranteed forever. I am aware that my abilities are here now and may not be here forever. I am in the moment. I am thankful and I can see clearly what I have today.
Living with MS means I am living. MS will do what it will, I will keep on living and moving forward.
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