Orange Story: Talking

MS took some of my muscle ability in my face.  I don't know how to describe it.  My face doesn't go numb.  When it is at its worst it feels like cotton balls are stuffed in my cheeks and I'm moving in slow motion.  I slur and have to focus to not loose my words. 

When I am rested and healthy, talking is easy and no one can notice a difference.  When I begin to get tired, talking becomes more work.  The first solution was to get a portable microphone in my classroom.  The mic allows me to be able to focus on talking, but not have to worry about projecting.

In the beginning I also found that it was difficult for me to be in groups of people.  I had a get-together with a group of friends and discovered that I didn't have the ability to fight for attention.  First, nobody should have to fight to be heard among friends, but I found out that I get interrupted easily and have lost the ability to stop people from butting in.

I would begin sharing my thoughts and after the slightest pause, someone would interrupt me and I would not be able to finish talking.  If I had a response to someone else's thought, I wouldn't be able to respond fast enough or loud enough to be heard.  I simply stopped talking.

I know everyone has a different personality.  There are shy and bold people.  There are dominating people and followers.  That is the reality of a group of people.  But in a group of friends, everyone should be paying attention to one another and not trying to interrupt or rule the conversation. 

It is difficult for me to talk.  It takes work.  It takes more energy for me to speak than for the average person.  I have a difficult time saying all the words I want.  Some of them get lost.  Some of them simply don't come out correctly.  This is another reason that writing helps me.  I can say everything without being interrupted or getting tired.

It is difficult to see that talking is difficult for me.  For the most part it is hidden unless you look closely.  Some have noticed, most haven't. 

MS gets to take whatever it wants.  MS took the ease of talking from me.  I don't know what it will take next.  Either way, I will make adjustments and continue moving forward.