About a month ago I started having a shooting pain down my right leg. I was fairly certain my sciatic nerve was causing the pain, but I didn't know why or how to fix it. I paid attention to every movement and moved in ways that caused little or no pain.
Today, that pain is so severe that the only pain free position is lying flat on my back on the floor with my knees up on a stool. Yes, the only pain free position. Right now I am kneeling by my bed to type this.
It took a few doctor's visits to discover I have a herniated disc in my back. The disc is pushing on my sciatic nerve causing pain to shoot like fire down my leg.
It hurts to walk, it hurts to sit, it hurts to stand. I've stopped driving. I can't pick things up off the floor without pain. My family has all taken a turn putting my shoes on me.
Don't feel badly for me. I'm simply painting a picture.
In the midst of this debilitating pain, I am thankful.
I know that this won't last forever, even though some days I'm not sure I can take another minute of it.
I am blessed with a family that knows how to take care of things around the house and if it doesn't get done, everyone is okay with that. I'm thankful for the many kind eyes and words of concern and empathy I have received as I limped down the halls at school. I didn't complain, they simply cared. I'm thankful for the things I can still do. I'm ever so capable. Perhaps when this pain is gone, I'll be even more thankful for what I can do.
I've said many times that the thing that keeps me going is celebrating what I am able to do. You never know when it will be taken away. I will enjoy sitting and walking pain free again. I will enjoy being able to run with my students or simply sit on the floor with them again.
Until then, I still have much to be thankful for. I still have much to rejoice over. I am still surrounded by love and kindness and compassion.
Life gets tough. It gets really tough. Keeping our eyes on what we have and not what we've lost reminds us to look forward and not behind and gives us the strength to fight and move forward and rejoice in each new day.
No comments:
Post a Comment