We've been watching Parenthood. We just watched the episode called "I see you, I hear you." The patriarch of the family started going to counseling and learned to say those words to his wife to practice acknowledging her instead of bulldozing over her with his large, looming personality.
Whether we acknowledge it or not, we all want to be seen and heard. We all want to know that we are noticed and not simply another fleshly form moving through this Earth.
When I am driving down the road, being tailed by a big truck driving close enough to see the digital read out of the radio station on my dashboard, I do not feel seen or heard. That person behind me is in such a hurry to get to his location that my car and myself are in his way. To him, I am not a person traveling home to my family. I am a car that is blocking his speedy path to his destination. I don't feel seen. I feel like this gentleman has put his schedule above my life. It is okay with him to put my life and the lives of anyone in my car in danger to keep his schedule.
In the moments when people around me don't pause long enough in their story to hear what I might add or wonder, I don't feel seen or heard. It grieves me when others interrupt a story to hear their own story or their own idea. I want to let my friend tell their whole story without interjecting my own thoughts.
I want to be noticed. I want those around me to see me, not who they think I am, but the real me. I want them to let me be me, to give me space and time to go where I need to go, to share my ideas, thoughts and questions and be who I am created to be, not who they think I should be.
We like to hear ourselves speak. We like to share our stories. We like to share our issues. In the midst of making sure everyone knows who we are, we need to remember to pause and let those around us be who they are. We need to remember to pause and see and hear the people around us. They are people like us. They have busy lives. They have great moments. They have difficult times. They want to be seen and heard too.
Next time you are around other people, take a moment to look at them. Take a moment to wonder where that person in the green car is going, what might be happening in their life? Take a moment to consider that more is happening in that person's life than what they show you.
Our dog ripped her toenail off running for the ball last weekend. She had to have minor surgery to repair it. I had to take her to the vet. It was "after hours" on a Saturday night. It was expensive. It was overwhelming. I noticed the receptionist starting to treat me like I was rude. I knew what was happening. I was overwhelmed, stressed, tense and concerned about the cost and what caring for my dog meant for the next week. She saw rudeness. I couldn't get her to understand where I was. She couldn't see me.
Take a moment. See those around you. Hear them. You don't know the whole story. The story may be this person is inconsiderate and rude, but it may also be they are having one of the most difficult days of their life and need someone to see and hear them.
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