Most of life is lived in our heads. I've seen two people approach the same situation. One was ready to take it on, to thrive, to walk through the fire no matter what. The other looked as if the situation had already beat them up before it had begun.
The story we tell ourselves drives our steps. The dialogue in our head moves us forward or freezes our feet. The conversation we have with ourselves determines whether we will rise above the situation or let the situation dictate our self-worth.
I could have let the word cancer defeat me over 5 years ago. I could have let the idea that something vicious was coming after me and simply lay down and wait for it. Instead, I did what I knew to do and kept walking. I kept going to work, I kept living each day to the best of my ability. Those days looked different than the ones before or after cancer, but I never gave in. I never stopped giving my best even if my best was only another step, another breath, another smile.
I could have let MS defeat me 3 years ago. I could have thrown my hands up that yet another disease was after me. I could have lay down and let it take me. I could have held onto the pain of the earlier days instead of fighting to find out how to get rid of it. I could have let my body grow weak instead of fighting through all the fatigue to make myself as strong and healthy as I could. I could have let the difficult days rule my weeks instead of recognizing they were only days and they would soon leave and I would be back to good days again. Multiple Sclerosis won't be leaving me. I don't get to go through treatment to send it away. It stays with me every moment of every day. I could let the weight of its presence push me down, but instead, I fight it off and throw the weight off as often as I can.
I could have let my herniated disc and back surgery knock me out over 4 months ago. I could have quit. I still could as I daily battle to gain my strength back. I could have decided this was the last straw. I have spent so much time fighting off weakness, building strength, paying attention to every thing my body does: what makes it thrive, what makes it fall apart, that I could have thrown up my hands and been tempted to finally give up. I waited patiently for the pain to pass. I did everything in my power to heal and gain my strength back. When I wanted to quit and simply lie down and let it take me, I got up again and took another step.
The physical battle is easy. The moving, the walking, the fighting is simple. The battle of the mind is not easy. The battle to keep my mind from traveling into the darkest tunnels, from getting lost in madness and despair is the most difficult battle. Yet, It is the battle that wins the wars.
Next time the mountain looms ahead, take control of your thoughts. Remind yourself of your past victories. Remind yourself that you can only do what you are capable of doing. No one expects more than what you can produce. No one expects miracles. Your best, your hundred percent, your greatest effort is all that is ever required. Believe in your strength, ignore your weakness. Believe in your power. Accomplish what you can, celebrate and give yourself grace for what you can't. Take control of your mind and everything will be a victory.
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