I went to church the other day. I went to be with people. I went to participate in another's traditions.
I was sad.
I was sad to say hello to half a dozen people who seemed anxious to shake my hand and move onto the next person.
I was sad when I saw the shallow hope in their eyes that I was here to stay, that I would begin to be a part of their group. They never understood or cared to know I didn't even live in their town.
I was sad to see everyone seemingly listening, but I knew many would go home taking nothing with them and changing nothing in their lives. They would continue to argue and fight and their actions would never reveal they professed to love Jesus.
I was sad that my presence there and my behavior there was more important then who I was, what I thought or the story I might have to tell. They counted me as a number in a seat. I made them look good to the person keeping score.
Many people greeted each other and asked, "How are you?" They didn't want the real answer, their eyes had already moved on. There were no conversations that lasted more than a few seconds.
No one answered honestly. No one talked about a rough week or an amazing week. They all said, "Fine." They all moved on.
The preacher thought he was reminding people not to get disappointed when they expect things from God and it doesn't seem like He delivers. He forgot to tell them to love and trust God.
God doesn't owe us anything. He isn't required to take away our pain and to make the mountains flat. It isn't His job to make our life more palatable or easy.
He already did everything for us.
He already showed us how much He loved us. He already made it possible for us to hang out with Him whenever we want. He already made it possible to choose to ignore Him if we want. He already made it possible to trust, hope and lean on Him for everything.
I don't expect Him to fix my life. I expect Him to walk with me.
I don't expect Him to make things easier or better. I expect Him to make me strong enough to take on the challenges.
He didn't take away cancer, but He gave me the strength to survive the treatments that would. He didn't take away MS, but He gave me the wisdom to change my lifestyle so my body could still thrive. He didn't take away my nerve pain, but he gave me the determination to work hard after back surgery to become as strong as I could.
I do a disservice to my students if I make their assignments easier. I won't be preparing them for the next grade. Instead, I come sit by them and help them understand. I give them tools to succeed. I encourage them not to give up. If I take away the difficulty, I only make the future more difficult for them.
I grieved in that church. I grieved the loss of the awareness that God is already with us, helping us and loving us along our journey.
They sang and pleaded that Jesus would come. I could hear Him sigh as He wanted to tell them He was already there. They need only stop their schedule of events designed to impress people and sit and listen.
They needed to turn off the spotlights and the cameras and simply understand that God isn't impressed by your technology or your music or your pre-planned words. He only wants YOU. He only wants to be a part of your life and let Him be a part of yours.
He only wants you to lean on Him, depend on Him and trust that every mountain you must climb, every valley you must trudge through, every river you must swim, every desert you must meander through, every amazing view, every winding trail, every moment of every day He is with you. He is there, loving you no matter what. Everything else is a waste of our time and energy.
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