Not Just Half

A long time ago my husband was a youth pastor.  I was informed I, a pastor's wife, couldn't share all my weaknesses with other women in the church.  I had to be a model of strength and be a person who was doing well all the time.  I couldn't share my burdens with anyone.  I didn't have a close enough relationship with the other's pastor's wives that I thought of them as confidants or friends so I became alone.  If I had an issue, I had to figure it out.  I couldn't share my need or request.  I simply had to be strong and work through it.  I did.  I went through a lot of trials in those years all on my own.

Later, I discovered that was wrong.  I actually should have been real with those around me.  I should have showed my weariness at being a young mother.  I should have shared my concerns about finances.  I should have sought sound advice from those wiser than me, but I didn't.  I revealed only half of myself.

Throughout our lives we meet very different people.  We meet people we are kind to and see regularly, but we may not know them deeply or allow them to know us.  We meet people we invest our energy and time in then the seasons of life take them away.  They are still dear to us, but we don't get to see them as often.  We also meet people who become our dearest friends.  We trust them with our weaknesses.  We trust them with bad days and good days.  We know it is okay to look foolish in front of them and they will not lie to us.

I have so many of these different friends in my life now.  I'm thankful for them all.  I'm thankful that whether they know some or all of me I am real with them.  I'm thankful I will never feel quite as alone as I did back then.

Just as it is okay to not be okay.  It is okay to share that not-okayness with others.  It is okay to share your weaknesses.  It is okay to let others be strong for you.  It is wonderful to find dear friends who care about you and know you and let you be all of you.

No one should feel they have to put on a show or pretend to be perfect or to be together for others.  Your only responsibility is to be you, all of you.