Over and Over

Words from 2004

God is always doing things in our lives that seem wrong to us.  God is absolutely perfect.  He doesn't make mistakes.  He knows us better than we know ourselves.  We can and need to fully trust Him.  He has our best interests at heart.

Essentially these words were written in some form every day for weeks on end during this time in my life.  I was trying to learn to trust God with my worries, concerns, needs and wants.  In order to know and believe this truth I had to tell it to myself every day.  Every day I recorded my concerns and every day I submitted and proclaimed that God was worthy of my trust and I knew He would do whatever was best for me.

As I read those old words I heard the frustration in my words.  I feel the hopelessness I daily fought against.  Things were not as I wanted them to be.  I was not who I wanted to be.  I was only 27 and still learning how to be myself.  I love the fact that as I looked at parts of my life and found I wasn't completely content, I accepted the situation as it was, but gave it to God to help me deal with it or to change it.

These words were a great reminder to me; when a change is happening in my life it is always a process.  I don't become the person I want to be in a day, a week or a year.  It is a moment by moment, day by day, breath by breath process of which I must daily remind myself. 

During those months so many years ago, I daily told myself that I didn't need to worry because God had me.  He would take care of my concerns.  I told myself those words every day.  I imagine that I had to remind myself throughout the day any time the worry or need to control the situation tried to come up.

The wonderful thing about God, our Daddy, is that he never sighs as we repeat the same plea over and over.  He hears us, encourages us, and knows we'll repeat ourselves in just a few minutes.  He also knows that one day we will learn to fully trust Him with our issues then we will be ready to learn the next thing.