After about a month of radiation treatment I was struggling to continue feeling victorious. I felt like I had a never ending cold. I was tired, weary and unable to keep up my energy for more than half a day. My skin was turning leathery and it hurt constantly from the doses of radiation I had received each day. I knew that when I received my diagnosis of breast cancer, I was ready to be victorious over this and not let it get me down. At this point in the process, I was happy to simply be a survivor.
This part of my story is a reminder that sometimes it's okay to simply survive. It's okay if at the end of the day you were only able to get out of bed, shower and eat a little. It's okay if you cleaned the house. It's okay if you didn't. It's okay if the laundry got done. It's okay if you got dressed instead.
Some days we are victorious. Some days there is no situation, no event, no surprise that can stop us from moving forward and ending the day as if we ran through the red ribbon at the finish line. Yet, some days we are survivors and thankful we made it through the day with even one accomplishment. We know that we can go to sleep and rest and perhaps the next day will be a victorious day. Perhaps that day won't come again for a month or a year.
I'm here to tell you it's okay to survive. Be kind to yourself. Be gracious with yourself. Put your health first and make other priorities after that. If you aren't healthy you can't help your family, do your job or be there for the people who may need you. If you are healthy, you can give whatever you are able to give. Sometimes your presence is all that is needed. Survive today and look forward to the day you will be victorious again. Be thankful for the victorious days, surviving days may be trying to sneak up on you. When they come, know they will not last forever.
Simply Surviving is okay Sometimes.
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