My mom had been waiting for me during this procedure. I took off my comfy scrubs and went out to join her. I described the experience as weird. It doesn't always feel like the medical community takes into account what they are doing to a person. They are looking for ways to see you and fix you, how it feels and looks to the patient is irrelevant. Its like we don’t even exist. We are objects rather than people. Its good that even though the new fangled machines treat us like objects, the people who run them still know how to treat us like people and make us feel at ease when we don’t. No one goes in for an MRI for the fun of it. A person gets an MRI because something is wrong. A good technician realizes that and puts that person at ease. I appreciate that about the two ladies in charge of my MRI on this day.
My mom and I were ready for a late breakfast. My mom had a Starbucks card that my grandma had given her so Grandma bought us some breakfast sandwiches and some coffee. My mom had never had those sandwiches before. We had a little bit of shopping to do before going home so we drove towards town to a local thrift store for some finishing touches on Halloween costumes for the girls.
Every year my girls’ school has theme Halloween parties. The students dress us as a character from a book they are reading together as a school. This year it was Wizard of Oz. My youngest decided to be the lion. She had a bear costume from last year that we could turn into a lion costume. My oldest daughter decided to be the scarecrow. Fortunately, I had remembered to tell my mom about these things before she came. If we need something, she usually has it. Over the years my mom has collected a number of items that she thinks she might be able to use. She can make anything out of anything. She has a gift for the creative. She can see treasure in trash and potential in the over-used. We know where my youngest collector gets it. Her gift was an asset growing up with little money. She is often making gifts and practical items for everyone. She could start her own craft store with all the supplies she has. I appreciate that about her and am thankful for her resourcefulness. Some people don’t understand. I grew up with her gifts, they are some of what makes her my mom. She had material for a mane and tail for the lion. She had straw and patches for the scarecrow. I had the overalls. We just needed a hat and a shirt to finish the scarecrow costume. We found both at the thrift store. It cost just a few dollars. Since we were there I looked at some other clothes. I found 2 wonderful skirts for school. I love buying things at the thrift store. I don’t have to love them because they are so cheap and there are many more styles to choose from than at the other stores.
I had 3 large bins full of material and books that needed a home in my new office. I wanted a closet so my mom and I went to Home Depot and found a utility closet that was all white. It had two large doors and shelving inside. I had seen something like it at someone else’s house and thought it would be perfect for my room. I had some money and my mom gave me my birthday money so I could get it.
While we were out my mom purchased a CD she had been wanting. She played a song for me on the way home that spoke words for her that she was having trouble speaking. The song essentially said, “I will love you through it.” I can’t take it away, I can’t make it better, I can’t fix it, but I will love you through it. She was saying that to me. It was the first glimpse I had of what this was doing to her. I wasn’t thinking about what it would be like to have a young daughter get breast cancer and have to watch her go through it. She had just traveled this path with my grandma the year before. She never dreamed she would watch me go through it. She couldn’t do anything, only be there. She had to imagine what I was going through. She had to watch me be tired and in pain. She had to hear how I kept going to work and didn’t tell people what was going on. She had to wonder how I was getting up in the morning. She had to wonder if I would be ok. This is not something a parent imagines having to go through. Yet here she was. She did good. She just loved me. That’s all anyone can do when the person you love is embarking on a difficult journey. You can’t take the journey for them and you can rarely make it easier, but you can love them through it. I am ever thankful for my mom.
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