Balance

Today I realized that I actively strive to have balance in my life.  When I say balance, I don't mean everything is equal, I mean that I have peace.

We are preparing to move.  I could easily spend all day packing.  I am still finishing up my final project for my master's degree.  I could work on it all day.  Even if I spent a day on each of these things, I still wouldn't have them finished.  I could rush. I could stress.  None of that will do me any good.

Instead, I spent a few hours on my paper today.  I spent some time packing.  I spent some time with my family and I enjoyed time with friends.  I went to bed at a reasonable time.  I know that no amount of fretting or work will accomplish what needs to be done so instead, I keep away the stress by balancing all those tasks with moments that bring me peace.

Many years ago, my husband was a pastor.  He shared a message titled "Work to Rest."  Essentially he pointed out that the only thing that we are told to work for in the Bible is rest.  We need to protect ourselves from stress and anxiety.

I felt my heart racing today.  There were a number of different things causing it to race.  Most of which were me wondering or worrying about the next thing.   I was aware of each heartbeat.  I consciously calmed my breathing and took control of my thoughts.  I reminded myself that I am not ultimately in control and I can only take one step at a time.  I found a way to calm my heart and remembered how essential balance is.  I must be at peace.  I physically feel unsettled when there isn't peace.  Since I can't guarantee peace all the time, I choose balance between work and play so that I can remain at peace amidst the chaos and requirements of life.

Balance does not mean I give equal time to each item demanding my attention.  It means I work to maintain peace in my soul no matter what tries to steal it away.