It has been a week since my surgery. We went to the store yesterday. We were all getting a little stir crazy around the house. I quickly lost all stamina, was in extreme pain, got overheated and almost threw up.
This is starting to border on the line of sucking. I’m tired of being in pain. I’m tired of not sleeping good. I’m tired of laying around the house. I don’t mind taking it easy, but I’m tired of being completely limited.
While I was lying awake in bed I was thinking about surgery. Most surgeries come because a person has an injury. They are broken and the surgery fixes them. My surgery technically fixed me because it took out the cancer, but I didn’t feel broken beforehand. I feel more broken now. I didn’t have a broken bone that hurt and now I know will get better. I felt fine before (I know I wouldn’t have stayed that way) so after the surgery I feel more beat up than I did before. It’s a bit of an adjustment.
I have to adjust what I do, how much I do, and when I do things. I don’t get to freely follow after everyone else. I have to pay attention to myself and sometimes say “no.” I’m not used to this type of adjusting. I’m used to being more than capable of completing any and everything that comes my way. My limitations are taking some time to get used to.
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