One of the biggest struggles I am dealing with is going from a very healthy person to a “person with cancer.” I had to check the “cancer” box on the forms I filled out for the radiation oncologist. Before my diagnosis I didn’t have to check any of those boxes on the doctor’s office forms. I took pride in that fact. Each time I went to the doctor, I could check “no” on the more than thirty boxes asking what is wrong with you. Now, I have to check the “cancer” box. I have to write that I had surgery and answer all the people who are shocked that I have breast cancer at such a young age. Now I’m completely healthy . . . except for cancer.
I had a conversation with my dad about this. He had the same thing happen to him. About 12 years ago he was diagnosed with MS and before that was completely healthy. Now he has the one box to check. It’s crushing. You can’t go back. You can’t make it go away. For the rest of my life I will have to check the “cancer” box. I spent some time grieving this loss. It shouldn’t be a big deal, but it was.
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