We met with the radiation oncologist. As I began filling out paperwork, I realized I had somewhat taken the week off from thinking about all the cancer things I have to deal with. It was a nice break that was suddenly ended with a little paperwork.
The doctor explained the process that I will go through. He explained the risks and the options of radiation. He also explained he is uncomfortable putting a 35 year old through radiation treatment, but in the studies they’ve done, people without radiation treatment have had a much greater risk of the cancer returning than those who don’t. Cancer returning in this same form or, perhaps, a more invasive form is considered worse than the side effects of radiation. However, I am now much more scared about all of it than I was before I walked in the door. I am more concerned about the sunburn on my skin, the tiredness it will cause, and the list side effects affecting other parts of my body.
They gave me a pile of information to read. I feel like I have a choice to either read up on it so I fully understand everything and perhaps become more scared, or I can sit back and trust the doctor’s judgement. I know being educated can be a good thing, but I don’t know if my mind can take it all in and send it to the right places. I feel like I need to call my grandmas and talk to them. I keep thinking, if they can go through cancer treatment at 65 and 85 years old, I can do it at 35. This is more terrifying than surgery.
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